Friday, November 6, 2009

You know you are from Yucaipa when...

I found this on the internet today and had to laugh...this my friends is why I call it Mayberry! Although, in all fairness I am going to make the best of my new adventure and pray that the following is not as true as it appears to be...LOL

1. The town is empty at 8 PM.
2. You brag to your friends from other cities about the fact we have a 24 hour jack in the box!
3. You are stuck in traffic on the blvd. because there is either a tractor or they are doing some more construction.
4. You see everyone either at Starbucks or Denny's.
5. People know your town as the one with all the antique stores off the freeway.
6. You can't get a room at any of the motels because people are living in them
7. You have to go somewhere else to have any sort of fun
8. There is either a mobile home park for senior citizens or a church at every corner
9.A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes
10. You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from.
11. There is no point in high-school reunions because everyone knows what everyone else is doing anyway.
12. You know what 4-H is.
13. the closet mall is 45 minutes away
14. The town population increases by one-third when the universities go on break
15. You know the sexual history of almost every person in your graduating class.
16. you had a teacher in high school that graduated from YHS
17. your parents know your friends parents and they talk all the time
18. you know a guy that graduated with you that is dating a sophmore at the high school
19. you probably go to crafton
20. the one's who can't wait to leave and go to school, wind up back here in 2 years...They just weren't prepared!!!
21. its hard to find somewhere to drink, smoke, etc.
22. its pretty much just hard to find anything to do at all
23. there is at least one rumor about you even though you live hours away.
24. all the people you come into contact with cannot pronounce Yucaipa. I get "yucapie?" a lot
25. rival schools put up posters with slogans "beat the cow tippers!!" when your going to play them in football.
26. you easily get lost in other cities because they have more than ONE main street. know who to call to find out what (if anything) is going on
28. Going to the park is considered a family vacation.
29. you explain where you live as "2 hours from anywhere you wanna go"
30. you get 2 options on what to drive, oversied huge lifted retarded looking truck, or extremely terrible body kit unpainted rice rocket
31. you know what Mentone Beach is...And youve hung out there.
32. Myspace is the most exciting thing since the new town hall was built!
33. you see as many people walking/hobbling/wheeling/dragging their way down the boulevard as you see driving.
34. you can name the exact location of every park in town
35. the smell of chicken poop comes and goes with the changing winds
36. You hang out in your garage or on someones front porch.
37. Dirtbikes? or Horses?
38. You are fully aware that the new vons shopping center is the place to be
39. the coolest thing to do is drive on the boulevard to see who you can see.
40. you constantly ask your friends what they want to do, but nobody ever knows what to do, so you end up at a park or Starbucks.

1 comment:

  1. Cute, but living here is not so cute. The people are emotionally stunted, for the most part, with emotionally stunted, drug-addicted children; old people are exploited and abused in every way conceivable; and, it suffers from the worst form of white trash perversion imaginable. If you exterminated all of the white trash cockroaches, disinfected the town for a couple of decades and razed all of the meth labs, it might be a decent place, considering the mountain terrain and the pretty views of Big Bear. Sigh...really. What unparalleled filth, what sublime trashiness. Mental cripples, pretty much all Yucaipans